Saturday, May 8

Analyze the root cause and motivation of people's anger, and understand the method of moderate control of anger

Some people say that people are born to suffer because they come to this world crying. Everyone's attitude is different, we should pay attention to do a good job in order to improve their lives. Many people will have emotional changes, which seriously affect themselves and their families, but also affect the people around them. Such emotional problems will have an impact on everyone's body. Who is more likely to get angry? Is there you?

Who is easy to get angry?

1. Women with premenstrual syndrome. Women in the menstruation of those days, prone to irritability, emotional instability, in fact, there are its physiological reasons. Premenstrual syndrome occurs when estrogen and progesterone levels decrease in the week before menstruation. Although its mechanism is still unclear, it does affect mood.

2. Diabetics. Hypoglycemia refers to the fasting blood glucose concentration is lower than a certain limit, type 1 diabetes and type 2 diabetes patients will appear a series of problems caused by blood glucose concentration is too low. Hypoglycemia can lead to increased aggression, anger, confusion, restlessness and panic within minutes.

3. Insomnia. Lack of sleep can lead to nervous tension and worry. Taking a sleeping pill can relieve the symptoms of insomnia, but it may increase your temper. Benzodiazepines (such as zolepam) can treat insomnia, and sometimes used as prescription drugs to treat anxiety disorders. These drugs have a side effect, which can affect about 1% of users, causing them to lose their temper for no reason, aggressive and irrational.

4. People with hyperthyroidism. If you always get angry for no reason, it's probably due to hyperthyroidism. This endocrine disease is mostly found in female population, with an incidence rate of about 1%. When the thyroid gland secretes too much thyroid hormone, it can cause hyperthyroidism. Thyroid hormones affect various vital signs related to metabolic function, such as heart rate and body temperature. It also affects various physiological tissues, including the brain, which makes the patient prone to anger. Other symptoms include weight loss, shaking and sweating.

5. People with liver damage. In ancient Chinese medicine, the liver is related to emotion, which is often said to "hurt the liver by anger". Many diseases will affect the health of the liver, such as liver cirrhosis and hepatitis, and eventually develop into hepatic encephalopathy. It can lead to personality changes, such as bad temper, unfriendly behavior and increased aggressiveness. When the liver is damaged, these toxic substances will gradually accumulate in the blood, affecting the emotional function of the brain.

6. Patients with depression. Depression is not only characterized by listlessness and sadness, but also by irritability, anxiety and irritability.

We may as well borrow wisdom from classics to analyze the root cause and motivation of people's anger, and help us deeply understand the methods of anger and moderate control from the cultural level.

Anger comes from self-esteem: moderation is self-defense, excess is inferiority

Don't saints get angry? "The Analects of Confucius · gongyechang" records that Zi Gong said: "I do not want people to impose on me, I also want not to impose on others." Confucius said, "to give is beyond your reach." It means that Zi Gong once sighed to his teacher: "I don't want others to impose restraint on me; of course, I will never impose my will on others." After hearing this, Confucius replied, "this is not something you can do if you want to." That is to say, even Confucius and his students could not escape anger or be attacked by others' anger.

Anger is a person's self-esteem instinct. Everyone has a sense of boundary, and his dignity also has its own territory. There are freedom of self, right of choice, and part of privacy. No matter leaders, colleagues, friends or even loved ones around, people will start an automatic defense mechanism once they violate the boundary. Moderate self-esteem is the protection of self; however, the aggressive anger shown by excessive self-esteem is the excessive inferiority. For example, some people are usually calm. When they go out to dinner with their girlfriends, they always say, "look, how come the tea is cold? Why are all the hot dishes served and the cold dishes not served? " For example, leaders often reprimand their subordinates, and a family owner often reprimands the nanny. This symbolic anger, which takes anger as a business card and can not be easily thrown out, is just a manifestation of inferiority.

In order to "control anger", we should face up to anger and identify whether the source of anger is self-esteem or inferiority complex: if self-esteem, we can change a calm and atmospheric expression to defend our territory; if we are inferiority, we should sharpen ourselves, strengthen our hearts, and reach a peaceful state. This "symbolic anger" will also be solved easily.

Don't be an emotional chameleon: anger and regret

There was a mother who wanted to test her four-year-old son's filial piety. She took out two apples, one big and one small, and asked her son to eat them. When the little boy ran, he grabbed the big apple with his first hand and took a bite. His mother had already sunk in his heart, but he saw that his son grabbed the small apple with the other hand and took another bite. The mother was so angry that she didn't wait for her son to swallow the apple and yelled: "if you don't eat big enough, you have to take up the small one? Is there no mother in your eyes? " Who knows the son tearfully responds: "I want to taste which apple is sweet, leave that sweetest apple for you." After listening to the child's response, the mother's anger suddenly turned into a Wang sugar water.

Yan Yuan, the Analects of Confucius, once recorded that Confucius said, "love desires its life, and vice desires its death. It is bewilderment to want both life and death." It means that when you like someone, you like it very much; if you hate it, you hate it. One is the fire like extreme, the other is the ice like extreme, which is confusion. We are always under the control of our subconscious resentment in the confusion and gossip, but ignore the rational judgment and lack of control and judgment of the overall situation of things. A moment of reckless anger, the harm to others is eternal, and the regret and regret left to oneself is also eternal.

People's resentment at that moment is sometimes due to their quick action and unclear judgment. If they can listen to others' words and have a deep heart to see the whole situation, they may be less angry.

The true meaning of "controlling anger": impulse is the devil and anger is the disaster

Driving a private car, originally intended to be convenient and fast, has become a matter of anger. Driving gas cars, speeding each other and parting with each other, eventually no one can leave. They are very angry and even fight.

"The Analects of Confucius Yan Yuan" once recorded that Confucius said: "a dynasty of anger, forget its body, and its relatives, not confused with?" People are angry, angry, even who they are and who their relatives are. This kind of anger is terrible. Once it leads to a big mistake, it will be a lifelong regret. For example, if there is an accident of car wrecking and people killing, there is no room for recovery, and there is no room for you to have a chance to come back again.

The essence of the so-called "control anger" is the word "Zhi". Impulse is the devil, anger is a disaster. If you are not restrained for a moment, you are greedy for comfort. If you think about heaven or hell, you will not control your emotions. What you will bring is a lifelong regret that will never return.

When you are in a hurry, it's better to close your eyes and give yourself some time to think calmly and wait for the real answer in your heart: is this really worth my anger? Learn to use moderate restraint and patience in exchange for regret in the future.

The intelligence quotient depends on the study, manifests the ability superiority and inferiority; the emotional intelligence relies on the experience, manifests the quality level. It is the best experience to learn how to control emotions, to speak well and to treat people and deal with things calmly. In the Analects of Confucius, many people have not understood the way to control anger.